If your husband doesn’t believe anything, you say it is really hard to focus on any other aspect of your relationship. You are probably wondering if you have done something to lose his trust, but the question is, has he always been like that, or has he just recently lost confidence in you?
Marriage should be based on trust, and your partner should be someone who provides support, kindness, and understanding.
The bond the two of you share should be stronger than any challenge you encounter. But what happens when the very essence of your relationship is shaken and questioned?
When your husband constantly doubts everything you do and doesn’t believe anything you say, it is natural that you feel bad.
But don’t lose hope before you try to influence his attitude – if you understand where his mistrust comes from, you will be able to turn the situation around.
Why My Husband Doesn’t Believe Me – 4 Reasons
Sometimes his lack of trust is about you, and sometimes it has nothing to do with you. The better you understand his doubt, the easier it will be for you to handle it.
1. Childhood issues
If your husband grew up with parents he could never rely on, who were never there for him, or who were sometimes there and sometimes not, so he could never be sure whether his needs would be met, it is natural that he has trust issues.
His lack of trust will be most prominent exactly in the relationships that matter to him the most.
The constant doubt is the defense mechanism that protects him from disappointment. He probably also has a massive drive for control.
Children who had to take on too much responsibility too early also often have trust issues.
These people desperately need to feel they can rely on someone but, at the same time, feel it is much safer not to trust anyone but themselves.
2. You Don’t Take Yourself Seriously
Suppose you are always making jokes about how you feel and think about things and don’t really put an effort to be taken seriously.
People around you may find you a great person to have fun with, but they will not ask or expect serious advice or opinion from you.
Also, if your words don’t match your deeds, your husband may not believe you are serious about what you are saying.
If you behave like a child who constantly seeks approval from him, you are actually putting him in a position of parent, which may also be why he does not take you seriously.
3. Your Past Burdens Him
If there’s a history of infidelity between you, or if you have ever done something to lose his trust, your husband may find it hard to believe what you say.
He may even have the will to trust you again, but unless you both talk and solve the issue, it will keep haunting him until it destroys your marriage.
4. He Doesn’t Respect You
If he doesn’t believe anything you say without any reason, it may be a sign of disrespect towards you.
If on top of that, he always insists on doing things his way, you probably don’t enjoy a lot of credibility in his eyes.
He may have underlying chauvinistic attitudes, patriarchal views, or similar issues that affect the way he treats you.
That is surely not something you should put up with.
4 Steps to Take When Your Husband Doesn’t Believe Anything You Say
Whatever happens in your marriage, the solution is never to ignore the problem and hope that everything will resolve itself.
When your husband does not trust you and does not believe anything you say, it is essential to take certain steps to protect yourself and establish a healthier relationship with your husband.
1. Set Boundaries
To protect yourself from the stress that might result from resolving these difficulties, boundaries are a crucial component.
They limit the impact of the feelings, anticipations, and actions that might result from a lack of trust.
Expectations might be fair or unrealistic, depending on your situation.
Reasonable expectations might consist of the following:
– informing your partner of your plans and your expected return time
– check-ins if you’ll be gone for an extended stretch of time
– not hiding your activities or intended destinations.
Abuseful unreasonable demands include the following:
– keeping tabs on your correspondence with loved ones
– restricting or denying contact with friends and relatives
– utilizing smartphone location-tracking applications
– making you check in every hour when you’re working or hanging out with friends.
– falsely accuse you of cheating.
– any action intended to impose control or influence over you.
Then there are a lot of murky areas that need to be handled individually.
For instance, some people find it awkward when their partner hangs around with their ex-partners.
For the benefit of their child, they could be co-parenting in your relationship, nevertheless.
To ensure that both of you are clear on what behavior is acceptable and unacceptable in relation to their trust difficulties, it is essential to talk about your limits.
Although things aren’t always clear-cut, you shouldn’t put up with abuse only to keep your spouse happy.
Long-term harm from doing this will be much more significant for you than your spouse.
2. Ensure Your Trustworthiness
Then there are a lot of murky areas that need to be handled individually.
For instance, some people find it awkward when their partner hangs around with their ex-partners.
For the benefit of their child, they could be co-parenting in your relationship, nevertheless.
To ensure that both of you are clear on what conduct is acceptable and unacceptable in relation to their trust difficulties, it is important to talk about your limits.
Although things aren’t always clear-cut, you shouldn’t put up with abuse only to keep your spouse happy.
Long-term harm from doing this will be much greater for you than your spouse.
3. Practice Patience
Self-improvement and growth are processes that take time to complete.
It takes time and constant work to heal wounds that may have been quietly bleeding for years.
Being a companion to someone working through their trust issues requires patience.
They require ample time to work through their emotional baggage, move past it, recover, and discover more wholesome ways to interact with others.
Even if there could be disagreements and unpleasantness throughout that process, having your limits set will put you in a better frame of mind.
But if you succeed in doing that, you’ll discover that you emerge from the process with a close bond based on respect and love.
It is not easy to be a partner to a person who is healing.
4. Ask for Professional Support
Although you and your partner can try to resolve this issue on your own or together, it could be more severe than what self-help can handle.
It is a serious issue that has to be treated if it is impacting your relationship and mental health.
Too many individuals and couples struggle with issues they never fully grasp while trying their best to find solutions.
The best course of action in your situation is to consult with a relationship specialist.
It’s not a simple situation to be in, and it could be even more complicated if you don’t have somebody to talk to about it.
Talking to someone is an excellent method to get your ideas and anxieties out of your brain and work through them.
Avoid Being a Victim
Even if your husband’s lack of trust could be upsetting, it’s crucial that you avoid blaming yourself. It is unproductive to do this since you’ll become more accusatory and resort to the blame game.
If you spend most of your time and energy criticizing your husband for their mistakes or for hurting you, that may make them defensive and prompt them to pull away even further.
While talking to your spouse and expressing your feelings is vital, avoiding discussing the same topics over and over again is crucial.
The first talk should center on your upset sentiments, but after you’ve expressed them, the following conversations can go on.
It takes two to tango in every relationship, so even if your spouse may be the one who is being neglectful, it’s usually not a brilliant idea to wait it out.
Keep in mind that occasionally people are unaware of their own actions.
So, if your spouse is neglecting you or hurting you but doesn’t recognize it, it’s unlikely that anything will change because they aren’t even aware that something is wrong.