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10 Proven Ways to Be Less Shy and More Talkative

Do you have a hard time speaking up when you are around people?

If so, you need to figure out how to be less shy and more talkative.

Being shy can hold you back from living a more fulfilling life.

Think about all the opportunities you missed because you were shy and didn’t know what to say.

We have good news for you, it is possible to practice conversation skills and overcome shyness.

The best ways to stop being shy and be more talkative are to work on yourself, improve the areas you think you lack, embrace your strengths and become self-aware.

happy friends on the vacation

Like everything in life, these skills can be practiced and mastered.

This article will help you bust your mindset from shy to confident.

We have five tips on being less shy and five tips on being more talkative, so let’s get started.

Why Are You Shy? 5 Potential Reasons

To better help you overcome your shyness, we need to get to know you a little better.

Are you also an introvert? Because shyness and introversion go hand in hand.

Here are some characteristics of shy people. You may recognize yourself in one of them.

1. You Don’t Want to Come Off as Awkward And Weird

You often avoid conversations with others because you don’t want to say something that will lead to awkward silence and all eyes on you.

Something like this may have happened to you in the past.

It can be incredibly embarrassing if you talk about something you love and everyone looks at you like a weirdo.

Maybe they even laughed at you and made jokes about you.

That’s why you decided that it’s better to be silent as much as possible because you don’t want to say something that will be stupid to others.

2. You Think That Others Are Better Than You

This is also a prevalent reason why someone is shy.

You may suffer from impostor syndrome, and you consider yourself an intruder among the people you are surrounded by, say at work.

In your mind, everyone else is much better than you, more intelligent, beautiful, and successful.

As for your mindset, you only see your weaknesses in yourself but don’t want to work on them.

While you ignore the things you are good at and consider them not good enough.

3. You Have a Fear of Rejection

This is often the case if you were rejected by a person you were romantically interested in.

You opened up to that person, told everything about yourself and your feelings, and got a cold rejection.

Now you are afraid to share things about yourself because of it.

It doesn’t have to be just rejection from the person you like.

You maybe also get many rejections when applying for a job you love and want to do.

You sent countless CVs and cover letters, and all you ever got was, “We’ll let you know.” But they never called you back.

Unfortunately, all this created a fear in you of new rejections, and that’s why you became shy and closed.

How to Become Less Shy? 5 Tips

Once we’ve gotten to know you better and probably discovered why you feel shy and aren’t much of a talker, it’s time to change that.

Try these helpful tips:

1. Accept Yourself

“When you accept yourself, the whole world accepts you”

Lao Tzu

Yes, that’s right, accept yourself.

You are unique in your own way, and you have no reason to worry about how you will appear in front of others.

Even if you are dragging some bad successes from the past, put them behind you and move on.

It’s time to stop thinking about something you did in the past and focus on the present and the future.

And of course, don’t be ashamed of what you love, but show it, because that’s how you’ll attract like-minded people.

2. Embrace Your Strengths

All positive thinking comes, first of all, from a positive attitude toward oneself.

Hey, we all have our own virtues and strengths.

No matter how self-critical and dissatisfied you are, there must be something you’re good at.

Your lack of self-confidence does not allow you to see all your abilities hidden within you.

It could be that perfectionism that continuously bothers you and makes you always have to do everything perfectly.

Instead of hiding them, unleash your strengths and feel like a superhero.

3. Work on Your Flaws

This is an essential topic.

You will achieve nothing by wallowing in your weaknesses.

In fact, you will only get your brain more used to the fact that these weaknesses are part of you and cannot be changed.

A common cause of shyness is fear of appearing stupid or uneducated.

If it worries you so much, why not work on it.

What are the eras in which you should further educate and inform yourself?

Is it something strictly business-related, such as, say, the world economy?

These can even be some more practical issues.

For example, if you feel shy because you are unfamiliar with how to fix things around the house and similar.

Find out what is bothering you, and if it is possible to change it with your efforts, you should change it.

And remember one additional thing: you can’t change absolutely everything about yourself.

It’s important to change what you can, but don’t burden yourself with trying to be something you’re not.

4. Take Care of Yourself

Self-confidence and self-belief come from that great feeling when we feel good in our own skin.

This means, above all, when we feel beautiful, clean, and tidy.

We don’t want to sound superficial but let’s be realistic. 

Is there someone who feels comfortable while being dirty? 

You’ll undoubtedly be less shy when you’re clean and wearing an outfit that makes you feel comfortable.

Also, let’s pay attention to the importance of physical activity.

Let’s assume that you have a weight problem. 

You have a few more pounds than you think you should.

That’s why it’s hard for you to approach the person you like in the club. 

You think they won’t find you attractive because you’re overweight.

This is where exercise comes in handy.

Time to hit the gym, run, bike, or whatever you like.

Even if you’re not much of an exerciser, there is some physical activity that will work for you.

When those extra pounds go away, so will your shyness, and you’ll have no problem striking up a conversation with that beautiful someone at the club.

5. No One Cares About Your Mistakes as Much as You Think

Your shyness comes from being afraid of what others will think of you.

We have a newsflash for you; nobody cares as much as you think.

We know that you already have potential scenarios in your head, how you said something that makes everyone around you cringe.

That’s your social anxiety talking out of you.

But believe us, not everyone pays attention to everything you do.

This especially applies to people with whom you are not too close, colleagues from work, random people you meet in a bar, and similar.

Don’t you believe us?

Do you know how people usually feel uncomfortable going somewhere alone?

So try to go completely alone, say to the cinema or a restaurant.

After that experience, you will realize how many people don’t pay attention to you as much as you think.

How to Be More Talkative? 5 Practical Tips

Ok, we’ve given you some tips on overcoming shyness; now let’s move on to how to talk more.

You can beat the belief that you are bad at talking to others in this way:

1. Practice Talking

Yes, that can be practiced, even if you talk to yourself in front of the mirror.

It’s even better to talk as much as possible with strangers, say with an Uber driver (you know how they love to talk), with random people in a cafe, etc.

That way, you only increase your conversational skills.

2. Prepare in Advance What You Are Going to Say

This is especially true if you have an important conversation coming up.

Even if it is a public performance, a business presentation, and similar, prepare well for it.

This way, you will reduce the risks of twisting your tongue and not knowing what to say.

3. Don’t Get Distracted

This refers, above all, to respecting your interlocutor.

Don’t let everything else distract you when you’re talking to someone.

Especially don’t look at your phone all the time while talking to someone. Nobody likes that.

4. Become a Better Storyteller

Everyone loves good storytellers.

This means that you speak concisely, clearly, and interestingly.

The best advice on how to achieve this is to read books and listen to podcasts.

Just don’t go overboard with the stories. 

You don’t want everyone to start to think you’re lying and exaggerating stories.

5. Ask Open-Ended Questions

Open-ended questions are those questions that allow your interlocutor to answer with a free-form answer.

Sometimes small talk is inevitable, but don’t let your every conversation boil down to “What’s up? How are you? Ok, bye.”

All Things Considered

Think of all the business opportunities you’ve missed because you didn’t speak your mind because you were afraid of how it would sound.

Also, think about that cute person at the bar who smiled at you, and you didn’t have the courage to approach.

We think these are reasons enough to break your shyness and become more talkative.

Do you think so too?

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