Boom! Magic happens, and the baby is born! You became a father. Congratulations!
You don’t feel like congratulating yourself because you realize how much your life has changed. So much so that you have the impression that it is ruined.
How did becoming a father ruin your life? As much as you feel that you have no more time for yourself, have a huge new responsibility, and are less in control, know that it is all worth it.
![7 Reasons Why You Think That Becoming a Father Ruined Your Life 1 Tired father with upset baby](https://tinychangesmatter.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/10/Tired-father.jpg.webp)
You probably feel bad because you’re worried instead of excited about that new baby coming into your life.
We will immediately stand in your defense and tell you that everything you are going through is normal.
Know that you are not the only one going through this. In fact, most new moms and dads go through the same thing as you.
We all over-romanticize the baby’s arrival because it is a magical moment.
But that initial happiness and excitement quickly grow into fear and sleepless nights.
How not to be scared when you have a whole new life depending on you?
Your life is not destroyed but changed.
We know everyone tells you that it will get easier with time, but you don’t feel that way.
We can also confirm that it will get easier with time but also explain how your life has changed for the better. So keep reading, dad.
Becoming a Father Ruined Your Life? 7 Potential Reasons
You leveled up from husband to father.
For every reason you think your life is ruined, we will add a counter-explanation of why it is not so to help you realize how lucky you are.
1. You Have Less Time For Yourself
This is true; you will have much less time for yourself.
Time is the most precious resource, and your time is no longer just your time.
Your hobbies, interests, free time for yourself… The baby’s arrival will disrupt all that.
A baby requires full attention, especially in those first months when you and your wife won’t know what hit you.
You won’t be watching every game, and sometimes you’ll have to stop right when your team scores a goal.
If you like movies, expect to watch one standard hour-and-a-half movie all day because you will have to pause constantly.
You should be happy if you watch the whole movie in one day.
Counter Fact: You Will Value Your Time More
Just remember how much time you wasted on unimportant things.
Be honest, how much time have you wasted staring at your phone without any goal, just to kill the boredom?
Having a baby will help you realize how precious your time really is.
As far as boredom is concerned, it will happen much less to you.
A little bundle of joy has arrived and banished boredom from your life.
And when you get used to the baby, space will open up for your free time.
Only now will you know how to appreciate it and enjoy it much more.
2. You No Longer Put Yourself First
![7 Reasons Why You Think That Becoming a Father Ruined Your Life 2 Tired father with bottle of milk sleeping on floor](https://tinychangesmatter.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/10/Tired-father-with-bottle-of-milk-sleeping-on-floor.jpg.webp)
In addition to having less time, you generally no longer put yourself first.
It’s that selfish human nature again, but you notice that you can’t put yourself and your priorities before the baby.
Maybe even before you had a child, you were afraid that you weren’t ready for that step precisely because you could no longer put yourself first.
Counter Fact: You’re Less Selfish Now
It’s nice to love yourself and put yourself first, but overdoing it can lead to selfishness.
You already became less selfish when you got into a relationship and later married, but having a baby is a whole other level.
The best cure for selfishness is having a baby.
Even the biggest narcissists can often be changed by parenting.
The car’s appearance will no longer matter to you, but whether the car is functional for the baby.
The baby’s and your family’s priorities come before yours.
And you know what? You will be happy about it.
3. You Are Overwhelmed by New Responsibilities
![7 Reasons Why You Think That Becoming a Father Ruined Your Life 3 A tired stressed out father holding his sleeping baby at home](https://tinychangesmatter.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/10/A-tired-stressed-out-father-holding-his-sleeping-baby-at-home.jpg.webp)
With a child comes many new chores. Even those old obligations seem much more difficult for you to fulfill now.
As the child grows, the responsibilities change and are different at each age.
All those obligations make you want to scream.
You even have the feeling that you have no control over anything.
Counter Fact: You Will Become Much More Responsible
Life has thrown you into a new situation, and it’s up to you now to get used to it.
Through new responsibilities, you learn new things about life and yourself.
Parenthood will put you in various new tasks, revealing new potentials in you.
Always thought you weren’t very good with your hands? You will be surprised when you suddenly find yourself fixing and making things for your child.
4. You Feel That You And Your Wife Have Drifted Apart
When the baby arrives, parents neglect themselves and sometimes forget they are husband and wife, not just mom and dad.
Maybe in some moments of panic when you didn’t know how to calm the baby crying all night, there was an argument between you and your wife.
This is not unusual at all.
You’re going through a huge change together.
Caring for the baby is not easy, and each of her cries can make you nervous at first.
You and your wife are probably wondering what you are doing wrong and are afraid of making a mistake.
You have less time for intimacy or are too tired for it.
Counter Fact: You And Your Wife Love Each Other Even More Now
When you have a baby, your relationship deepens.
You love and appreciate each other more because you have taken your relationship to the next level.
You are willing to sacrifice much more for each other.
Your team has gained another member, and now you are even stronger.
We know you and your wife have many more obligations now, but anything is possible with a fair split of the chores and organization.
5. You Feel Like You’re Financially Ruined Right Now
![7 Reasons Why You Think That Becoming a Father Ruined Your Life 4 Parenting expenses concept](https://tinychangesmatter.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/10/Parenting-expenses-concept.jpg.webp)
Having a baby is not cheap at all.
No matter how much you’ve prepared and set aside money for it, you feel it’s not enough.
You can’t even predict all the costs, and there are always some unplanned expenses.
Counter Fact: You Will Learn to Manage Money Better
Of course, a baby is more important than any money, but you can’t just say that you don’t care about material things. Baby needs diapers, lots of diapers!
We mentioned above that you become more responsible and capable when you have a child.
This can help you manage money and not waste it on unnecessary things.
6. You Are Worried About Your Health
If you are someone who has taken great care of your health, diet, and exercise, the arrival of a baby will disrupt that.
With a baby comes sleepless nights and stress.
You also won’t have much time to prepare healthy food.
You’ll probably just eat something quick from the microwave.
Counter Fact: You Can Improve Your Health
That first period with the child will pass.
After that, you will be able to return to a healthier life.
If you didn’t lead a healthy life before you became a parent, maybe you should think about it because you want your child to be healthy and happy.
You should set an example for him because children are copycats. They copy everything they see from their parents.
If you eat healthy, exercise, and be happy and fulfilled, you will pass all these good habits on to your child.
7. Your Social Life is Non-existent
This can significantly affect you if you are extremely extroverted and social.
You won’t be able to socialize and hang out with friends like you used to.
Parties, concerts, sports events. Your friends call you, but you refuse because the baby is nervous, and you can’t leave your wife alone.
Counter Fact: You Will Change Your Priorities
Having a child doesn’t mean you should stop having friends.
Some people have a terrible habit of stopping hanging out with a couple with a child.
If someone doesn’t understand you and your new life situation, ask yourself what kind of friend he really is.
You shouldn’t neglect real friends, but it’s normal not to want to hang out with your friends like you used to.
True friends will understand you. You should keep them in your life.
You probably won’t even worry about missing something because you want to make new memories, but this time with your child.
To Conclude – Fathers are Superheroes
“Becoming a dad is like receiving a gift of love and happiness that lasts forever.”
You understand now that your life was not destroyed but changed for the better.
Your baby will be your motivation to be the best version of yourself.
We’re sure that when your child is asked who their favorite superhero is, the answer would be DAD.