There is no worse feeling than knowing you are 100% right, and the opposite side convinces you that you are wrong.
If your beloved wife is on the opposite side, we have the perfect scenario for a heated argument.
It doesn’t matter if it’s small, unimportant, or relationship-threatening hurtful things. Your spouse never admits her fault.
Arguments in marriage are not rare. They are even constructive if they are approached correctly by both partners and lessons are learned for the future.
Acknowledgment of guilt is necessary for a couple to function.
Now, we are not in the courtroom, so someone needs to confess to reduce his guilt.
It’s more about valuing your partner and accepting and learning from your mistake, so that marriage can grow. And love, of course.
Things are not always that simple, and sometimes it doesn’t go that easy.
Since you are interested in this article, you probably feel overwhelmed when your wife does not want to admit her fault.
There is usually a deeper reason behind not admitting guilt, so let’s see what those reasons are.
Fear of Being Perceived as Weak
Your wife doesn’t want to appear weak, so she doesn’t accept any blame.
It is terrifying to be perceived as weak in today’s culture.
It is all about the “Standing your ground, and don’t back down” type of attitude.
Everyone wants to be a self-proclaimed lion. We can see that attitude all around us. In a business environment, at school, or on social networks.
Maybe your wife is caught up in that trend. That’s why marriage is some kind of power game for her.
She is a Self-proclaimed Mrs. Perfect
Along with the conviction of one’s own perfection, one can hardly find the possibility of accepting one’s own fault.
This conviction may have been with her for so long that she can hardly think otherwise.
This idea of perfection comes from narcissism, and we all know that narcissists are not precisely the type of people to accept their guilt easily.
She does everything right, she knows everything… She is a perfect being who can do no wrong, and you end up feeling less valuable because of that behavior.
Even the most perfect people make mistakes.
It’s great to have a good opinion of yourself, but not at the cost of disrespecting others and living in the clouds.
Wife Gets Defensive When I Ask Questions
Does your wife follow the saying: “Attack is the best form of defense.”
Your wife becomes an impenetrable fortress when you ask a question she doesn’t like.
Or does she go into an imaginary shell to defend herself from the question? Maybe she starts yelling at you, or she is even aggressive in extreme cases?
A marriage shouldn’t work by being defensive about each other. It is quite the opposite.
You should always be open to your significant other because you know that you will be understood.
Her defensiveness like this can lead you to question whether she is being honest with you at all or if she is hiding something. All this can escalate into an argument and jealousy.
Her Pride is Hurting Your Relationship
Just as dignity and self-respect are related to pride, so are arrogance and intolerance.
Is your wife’s toxic pride affecting your relationship?
Most relationships end because couples fight with pride more than they work with love.
Beneath such toxic pride usually are hidden insecurities.
Insecurities make us not accept responsibility for our actions.
You show her proof that she is wrong, and she tries to explain that you are wrong.
Did you know that people who talk too much are often insecure?
She Cannot Handle Criticism
Of course, constantly criticizing someone is not good because it can always lead to an argument.
But not all criticism is harmful.
Imagine this situation: You and your wife are always late. You’ve even become known as “the couple who is always late.”
It bothers you, and you want to change that. Because first of all it’s not polite to be late, and secondly you don’t want everyone waiting for you all the time.
You mentioned to your wife that it would be nice if she would start getting ready earlier, so you won’t be late. You get a barrage of insults at your suggestion, and a blazing argument begins.
How Should You Behave When Your Wife Refuses to Admit any Fault?
You have to start with yourself first.
How can you start from yourself when you are not the problem here? Are you sure about that?
Do you admit your fault, and more importantly, do you stand behind it?
You should be a safe haven for your wife so that she can freely be “vulnerable” in front of you. This means she can admit her fault and not be afraid of your actions.
If you use her admission of mistakes against her, you are the problem.
Criticizing, playing victim, and using her mistakes against her, are all serious signs that you are to blame for how she is.
If it’s your fault and you think you weren’t there for her, apologize. But let it be one of those real apologies, after which you will change your actions.
Talk to her before the triggering situation happens.
We know it’s hard to start topics that can escalate into arguments when everything is fine, but it has to be that way.
Try to understand why she is like that.
What are the insecurities behind her behavior?
Is it bad relations with parents? Bad experiences from previous relationships? General dissatisfaction with life?
It’s up to you to help her figure it out and work on it together.
Create an environment where she will have no problem admitting her fault.
Then, in addition to admitting fault, she will be glad because she knows that she is doing good for your relationship this way.
The most important thing is to remember that you and your wife are not playing the blame game: Who is to blame and why?
You are on the same task: to work together to make your relationship as strong as possible.