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Why I Cry When I Talk About My Feelings: 2 Major Reasons

Being able to feel and experience everything is the greatest blessing we have received as humans on this planet. 

It doesn’t mean anything bad if you cry when you talk about your feelings. But it is certainly good that you want to understand yourself. 

depressed friend who needs help 1

Many different reasons can lead to tears when you talk about your feelings.

But if you cry every time you open up, maybe you should ask yourself some things:

  • How often do you show your feelings?
  • How often do you talk to close people about your feelings?
  • Can you express your feelings in words?
  • Do you feel good when you cry, or are you ashamed?
  • Can you recognize and name your feelings?

If these questions make you think, keep reading because what we are going to share here is very important for you.

Feelings Were Not Welcome in Your Family 

Babies have an unlimited capacity for feelings and do not have any mechanism to regulate them. They simply and directly show how they feel with their whole body. 

Only when one of the caregivers shows them in some way that certain emotions are not desirable do babies begin to modify their behavior. They do so to ensure their caregivers won’t leave them. 

If your parents did not know how to react to your feelings, it is very possible that they reacted by ignoring or scolding you. 

Mother and daughter arguing

In such an environment, the child cannot naturally continue his emotional development but learns to suppress and modify his feelings to not be rejected by his parents.

There are a large number of conclusions that a child can draw about himself when his parents do not know how to respond to his emotions adequately. 

If your parents made fun of you when you cried, when you showed that you were hurt, or minimized the importance of your feelings by telling you that what happened to you was “nothing terrible,” that you were “just whining for no reason,” it is quite natural that you will feel sadness when you want to express your feelings.

A common sign of this type of upbringing is the feeling that you can never be really happy

Now go back and try to remember how your parents reacted when you expressed your feelings about anything that was important to you.

  • Did they laugh at you?
  • Did they scold you?
  • Did they ignore you?
  • Did they manipulate your feelings?
  • Have you been punished for how you feel?
  • Did they ever understand you?
  • Are they able to comfort you when you are sad?
  • Did they know how to calm you down when you’re scared?

If your answer is yes to at least three of the above questions, your parents did not know how to deal with your feelings, which is why now, as an adult, you have a problem every time you try to express what you feel.


It is important to understand that all feelings are OK. There are no good or bad feelings. There are only pleasant and unpleasant feelings. 

To feel joy, you must be able to feel sadness. We are as rich as we can feel. What is crucial for you is to allow others to comfort you. 

You don’t have the experience of being accepted and loved even when you don’t feel comfortable. 

It would be extremely healing for you if, even when you don’t feel comfortable, you allow a close person to see it and to comfort and soothe you. 

Once you see that it’s nothing terrible, your life will be richer for a whole spectrum of new experiences.

You Are Pushing a Lot Down 

Suppose you have been under stress for too long, or it happened to you that several different highly stressful events happened to you in a short space of time. 

You did not have the space to react adequately to each one but had to put them aside and suppress them.

In that case, it is natural that everything you pushed poured out when you started talking about your feelings.

Repressing emotions is a coping mechanism and, as such, is neither good nor bad. 

However, we all have certain limits, the capacity to endure certain situations, to which we can suppress certain emotions. When something pushes us over the edge, crying is a natural reaction.

Maybe you weren’t even aware of how many things you carry inside you. Perhaps some sadness in you has not yet found its way out. 

If you don’t want to admit to yourself that you suffered a loss if you try to minimize the importance of something that happened to you, the emotions related to it cannot just disappear. 

They are hidden inside you and will find a way to surface. Other people may also often notice that you look sad, while you may wonder why you look sad to everyone.

Upset young girl


Suppose you are generally inclined to suppress emotions and feelings. In that case, you likely can neither recognize nor name them precisely. 

One great way to get to know yourself and your feelings better is to keep a journal. 

Writing a diary gives you space to channel your emotions but also to see what actually triggers you in different situations. 

If you’ve never written a diary before, don’t worry about what you should actually write. It is not important at all whether you describe an event well. 

It is vital that you write down your thoughts exactly as they come to you. over time, your records will become richer, and it will be easier for you to manage your emotions.

And, of course, it is always healing to talk with close people. You can easily feel lonely when you don’t share what’s important to you with the people around you. 

Once you gather the courage to say how you really feel, you will see that many people feel just like you, and that will be quite healing for you.

It Is OK to Cry 

Side view young woman looking away at window sitting on couch at home

At some time, we’ve all tried to suppress our tears. Particularly in front of other people, we try to hide our feelings out of embarrassment. 

However, there is no need to feel guilty because crying is a normal human reaction. And crying is beneficial to your health.

 Although it’s frequently stigmatized as a sign of fragility, crying is a normal way to deal with stress. A good weep may be precisely what the doctor ordered when you need to let off steam or settle down.

The purpose and advantages of emotional tears are still being researched. 

However, recent studies show that only emotional tears contain proteins and hormones, not basal or reflex tears. 

This implies that emotional tears are the only ones that have soothing properties. So if you feel like crying for whatever reason, just let it all out. It is good for you. 

Benefits of Crying 

Lost on sad thoughts lady at home feels emptiness by personal difficulties and unsolvable problems

Your parasympathetic nervous system is activated when you cry, which reduces stress by calming your breathing and heart rate. 

Crying assists in bringing you back to your natural, balanced condition when intense emotions strike

It’s how your body reacts on a natural level. Unfortunately, it doesn’t provide immediate comfort; it takes a few minutes of sobbing and deep breathing for your body to relax and your pulse rate to calm. 

There are numerous benefits that only crying can provide:

  • You can improve your mood by crying. Emotional tears differ from reflex and basal tears in that they contain manganese and stress hormones.
  • Crying makes it easier to communicate your feelings and experiences to others. People may decide how to respond and what you require from them as a result.
  • Although crying is typically connected with sadness, it may also be a sign of healing and processing your emotions. After crying, you feel better since stress hormones and poisons have been released.
  • Provides pain relief due to hormones that are released when crying 
  • A small study discovered that crying can improve a baby’s sleep. It has not yet been determined whether crying helps grownups sleep better. However, it follows that crying may make it easier for someone to fall asleep due to its relaxing, mood-lifting, and pain-relieving benefits.

Final Thoughts 

Crying is a healthy way to express or let go of various emotions, including sadness, anger, and joy. 

According to research, crying has a cathartic impact that can relieve stress. 

Several studies also show that suppressing emotions like not crying can worsen mental health issues.

The saying “big girls or boys don’t cry” may be familiar to you. The truth is that everyone can gain something positive from a good cry. 

We are not expected to suppress our feelings, act as if everything is under control, or fake our way through life. 

These feelings must be released, just like a boiling pot on a stove with the lid on.