Nobody likes those people who only call when they need something.
They expect everyone to put everything aside to help them when they need something. But when the situation is the opposite, and help is wanted from them, they are MIA.
Do you know someone like this? Unfortunately, yes, and it’s none other than your sister, who only remembers about you when she needs something.
Why does your sister only call you when she needs something? This may indicate a lack of respect for your personal boundaries. She learned that she can use you and ultimately doesn’t care about you.
It doesn’t matter if your sister is younger or older than you; this can happen in both cases.
You love your sister, but you’re tired of feeling manipulated and used. This love is not reciprocated.
Despite all your love for your sister, you are tired of constantly having to solve her problems while your problems are irrelevant to her.
In this article, we will explain the reasons behind your sister’s behavior in more detail and give you practical advice on dealing with this delicate situation.
5 Potential Reasons Why Your Sister Calls You Only When She Needs Something
“That’s just the way they are” is the easiest to say about a person when describing their specific behavior.
It is essential to go deeper into the reasons for their behavior to better understand it and know how to behave towards them.
So these are the probable reasons why your sister only calls you when she needs something:
1. Your Sister Learned It From Other Family Members
Is there a pattern of this behavior in your family? If there is, it means your sister is not the only one who behaves like that.
Toxic family relationships can leave children full of emotional scars.
If your parents behaved like that and did not respect others, it is no wonder your sister adopted such behavior as normal.
Even today, you and your sister do not feel comfortable with such parents.
And why are you not behaving like that, and she is? Even though you are sisters and have grown up under the same conditions, it does not mean that you will have the same values and behavior when you grow up.
2. Your Sister Doesn’t Respect Boundaries
Isn’t it annoying when your sister calls you and expects you to drop everything just to help her? It’s like you don’t have your responsibilities and don’t live your life, but you just sit and wait for her call.
This is a classic example of a person who does not respect boundaries, and that’s exactly your sister.
Your sister may be a narcissist.
She is too focused on herself, she always wants to be at the center of attention, and her problems are more significant than the problems of others.
That’s why even when you tell her about something that happened to you, she rudely interrupts you and says, “That is nothing; listen to what happened to me.”
Not to mention she doesn’t respect your time. Especially when she knows you’re tired from work and calls you to help her renovate the house all weekend.
That would be ok, but when you called her for the same, she was too busy.
Her priorities are clear: she puts herself first and calls others only when necessary.
This is not necessarily because your sister is a bad person, but she is just too needy. Expects a lot from others but gives little.
For example, she expects you to throw her a birthday party, but she completely forgot about your birthday. That’s not fair.
3. Your Sister Treats You Like a Doormat
Just as everyone steps over the doormat, so everyone steps over the doormat person.
A doormat person is someone who is overly submissive, passive, and accommodating in their relationships with others. They tend to put other people’s needs and wants before their own, often at the expense of their own well-being and self-respect.
This can be influenced by your personality, especially if you are an unredeemable people-pleaser.
We’re not saying it isn’t right to be a good person who wants to help others45. But it’s certainly not good when people take advantage of your kindness.
That pattern follows you in your relationships, friendships, and even with family members.
Your sister knows your nature well and that you don’t know how to say no, and she takes advantage of that.
4. Your Sister is Used to You Solving Things For Her
Your sister has become accustomed to relying on you to solve problems for her.
This is especially the case if it is a younger sister, but it does not necessarily mean.
Were you always there for your sister? That’s great, and that’s how it should be.
However, what if you protected her too much and even spoiled her a bit?
You often solved your sister’s problems for her instead of letting her tackle them herself.
Now that you’re adults, you still need to help each other out, but your sister still expects you to handle everything for her.
This is especially pronounced if you have the so-called hero complex.
People with a hero complex excessively desire to save others and be in charge. However, this can get them into unnecessary risks and problems.
You realize that now, when your adult sister still expects you to do everything for her, even at the cost of neglecting yourself.
5. Your Sister Is Jealous Of You
Jealousy is a feeling that can easily bring out the worst in people, and even those closest to us know how to be excessively jealous.
This is especially pronounced if you had better treatment from your parents than your sister.
Maybe you were the favorite child, and your sister always resented being in your shadow.
She takes every opportunity to pick on you about it, even though none of it is your fault.
You may also be doing much better in life than your sister. This makes her jealous; you might even feel your sister hates you.
You feel sad that your sister is not doing well, and you do everything you can to help her, but she uses it to take advantage of you emotionally.
But it’s not your fault that you have a better job, career, and a more settled life than her.
How to Deal With Sister That Calls You Only When She Needs Something?
You clearly love your sister, but you’re tired of being a doormat and want her to treat you the same way you treat her.
Here’s what you need to do:
1. Be Honest With Your Sister
Even though you think you’re always honest with your sister, is that true? You probably wouldn’t be reading this article if you really were.
It may be difficult, and you may fear causing her harm, but expressing your feelings to her is crucial. This is because she only contacts you when she requires something.
She might not realize how her behavior affects you. That’s why you must tell her you feel disrespected, played, and even emotionally blackmailed.
You have to tell her all this so that the dynamic of your relationship changes and your sister realizes she is hurting you.
It is unfair that you are always there for her, while she calls you only when she needs something.
2. Set Clear Boundaries
“You are my sister, and I would do anything for you.”
If that were true, he would always help his sister no matter what.
However, we come to a huge BUT.
Your sister cannot expect you to leave all your responsibilities to devote yourself to her. Of course, you will do it if something is urgent, but not for random things that can wait.
You and your sister are adults and living your own lives. You can’t just drop everything to hang out with her. She has to understand that.
3. Consider the Impression You Make
This is especially true if your sister and the others are used that you are always there for them.
That’s great, but you must not be a doormat for others who will take advantage of your kindness.
Avoiding playing a superhero who saves others would also be a good idea.
Both can indicate that you don’t know how to stand up for yourself, have a problem with self-confidence, or want to prove yourself too much to others.
It’s best to learn to use the simple but very effective word NO as a complete sentence, after which you no longer have to explain.
4. Try To Organize Your Relationship With Your Sister
This is especially important if you don’t see each other enough and you’ve drifted apart. But that doesn’t stop your sister from calling you when she needs something.
And why not see each other more regularly, not just when she needs something?
Plan regular catch-up sessions with your sister. This way, you will stay connected, and you won’t have the feeling that she only calls you when she needs something.
“Having a sister is like having a best friend you can’t get rid of. You know whatever you do, they’ll still be there”– Amy Lee
You are always there for your sister, but she has to understand that she has to be there for you too.
A one-sided relationship is never good, especially regarding sibling relationships.
By following these tips, hopefully, your sister will remember you not just when she needs something. She may also learn to appreciate your needs more. Best of luck!