When couples have a child, their whole world changes. Their lives, routines, and even their relationship with each other can change completely.
But as for the changes in the body’s appearance, it is clear that the woman changes much more. Man can change, too, especially if he works hard to get that sexy dad bod, but that’s something entirely different.
The point is that your husband is showing signs or clearly telling you that your post-baby body is not attractive to him.
Why doesn’t your husband like your body after having a baby? Because he didn’t expect that your body would change so much, or he hoped that after having a child, you would quickly return to your old self.
Isn’t this selfish of him? You carried a child for nine months, brought that child into this world, now you are a milk machine; and what was he doing all that time?
Rather than being supportive, your partner’s negative comments about your body might make you feel worse, especially if you struggle with your own body image issues.
This is all very disappointing on his part, and you don’t know how to deal with that other than arguing with him.
In addition to the fact that your husband is acting extraordinarily immature and selfishly, it is also possible that postpartum is doing its thing.
We will explain all those potential situations further in this article.
Why Are You Feeling Unwanted by Your Husband After Having a Baby?
Pregnancy and childbirth, as magical as they are, can and often do leave changes on a woman’s body.
First, frequent weight gain occurs because “a new mom has to eat for two.”
There are, of course, the infamous stretch marks that can leave your skin scarred.
And some parts of your body that your husband particularly loved can become saggy, especially if you breastfeed.
Although all this is normal, you are still bothered that your husband does not show any special interest in being intimate with you.
Here are potential reasons why this might be:
1. Your Husband Didn’t Expect Your Body To Change So Much During Pregnancy
We don’t know what he expected, that the baby will be born just like that without any consequences on your body.
Your husband probably needs to be more knowledgeable about how these things work. We’ll assume he’s immature.
Instead of enjoying being a father and loving you even more, he finds flaws in your appearance.
We understand your husband adored your body before having a baby, but he must accept that things have changed.
Hey, you brought a new life into this world. Can he respect that a little more?
And what if your husband didn’t like your body too much even before pregnancy? This is an additional problem.
Even before pregnancy, your husband had nasty comments about your appearance, especially those few extra pounds that bothered you.
Unfortunately, he continued to make such comments even after the pregnancy and the child’s birth.
This behavior can only contribute to further distancing and the end of your marriage because this is not the behavior of a supporting husband.
2. Your Husband Was Hoping You’d Go Back To Your Old Look After Giving Birth
Your husband was emotional support during your pregnancy, but you noticed he changed after you gave birth.
Suddenly he’s not so supportive; he expects you to return to your old self in every way, including your appearance.
You went through a major life event. Childbirth is natural but still a considerable stress for the body. It takes time to recover.
However, hormones are still raging after childbirth, and there are new concerns about whether the child ate enough or slept enough… Let’s add to this many sleepless nights, which will undoubtedly affect your look.
Surely you will not be thinking about losing weight or exercising and will spend your days in an oversized comfy hoodie.
Why does your husband expect you to return to your old sexy self so soon? Does he feel insecure because you don’t look like you used to? Or is he too interested in the other women’s beauty and compares you to them?
A trend noticeable on social networks can contribute to this, namely that new mothers bounce back to their old look too quickly after giving birth.
So we can see examples of celebrity moms who return to their old look too quickly and flex in the gym while you barely have the strength to get out of bed.
This bounce-back culture just fuels new moms’ post-baby body blues.
New mothers should be given time to adjust to their new role in life. This trend only makes them think they must quickly snap back into their old bodies.
3. Your Husband Doesn’t Like Your Post Baby Body Because You Feel That Way Too
Baby blues and postpartum depression are real and very common.
PPD can make women nervous, sad, and anxious. It also makes them have frequent mood swings and lose interest in everything.
There is also a lack of self-confidence and hatred towards all those changes in your appearance.
Although your husband should still support you during your postpartum period, you may have unintentionally transferred some of your negative feelings onto him.
Do you constantly tell your husband how you hate your post-baby body, cover up so he can’t see you naked, or avoid being intimate with him?
All this can really influence your husband to hate your body after having a baby.
4. Your Husband Suffers from Postpartum Depression
Although this topic is usually not discussed enough, men also often suffer from postpartum.
Studies show that 1 in 10 dads struggle with postpartum depression and anxiety as well.
What does this mean for a man? A new dad can be overwhelmed by his new role in life. New responsibilities and worries are now a part of everyday life, and your husband may feel he is not up to it.
Your husband can think that becoming a father has ruined his life.
Intimacy and closeness do not exist because your husband, in this state of mind, does not show affection towards you.
That’s why you can get the impression that he hates your body.
What Can You Do When Your Husband Hates Your Body After Having a Baby?
This type of marriage dynamic does not suit you or your husband.
You must reevaluate your relationship with your husband and, more importantly, yourself.
Here’s what you should do if you think your husband hates your body after having a baby:
Tell Him How You Feel About It
Hey, it’s clear that the thought of not being attractive to your husband hurts you, and your husband isn’t helping at all.
Tell him his behavior hurts you and makes you feel insecure and sad.
Your husband should be your support, someone who will tell you that you are beautiful even when you are not at your best.
Don’t be embarrassed to ask him for all that. You are the mother of his child. You deserve it!
Work on Building Intimacy
Pregnancy and having a child can completely disrupt intimacy between partners.
You and your husband probably won’t think much about sex in those first days when the baby comes into your life, but don’t let this become a long-term pattern.
If this happens in your marriage, it’s no wonder you can feel unattractive to your partner.
Intimacy isn’t just about sex. It’s about spending quality time together, cuddling, and enjoying the activities you’ve always loved doing together.
Be Understanding Towards Your Husband
As we said before, he is also experiencing a significant change in his own way.
All those new responsibilities and concerns can make him too cold and distracted. But give him time before concluding that you’re not attractive to him.
If you hate your body after giving birth, here’s what you should do:
Be Kind To Yourself
You went through nine months of carrying a baby, gave birth, and now you go through new challenges with the baby every day.
Wouldn’t it be nice to take a moment to appreciate yourself and acknowledge all that you’ve accomplished?
You have become a mother, don’t let yourself hate your body. When you look in the mirror, don’t look for flaws, but look at the body that brought new life into this world. That’s what you should be proud of.
Don’t doubt yourself and lose interest in things. Instead, practice positive affirmations and continue enjoying what you loved before giving birth.
Yes, it certainly occurs to you that you don’t have as much time as before. We will admit that it is true.
But don’t neglect yourself because you have become a mother.
A long relaxing bath with scented oils and candles lit around the tub is still possible.
Watching a new movie or TV show and enjoying that time is possible.
As a real supporting partner, your husband should make it possible for you.
Give Yourself Time
Even though right now you don’t think you’ll be as hot as you were before, you might be even hotter.
Don’t worry about trends because they are superficial, and we are all different.
Give yourself as much time as you need to return to your old weight and jump into your old wardrobe.
And until then, wear an oversized hoodie and eat ice cream without a guilty conscience.
If time passes and you still feel bad, you can seek professional help.
Most Importantly – Remember to Love Yourself
“Don’t be ashamed of your stretch marks! You’re a tiger, and you have earned every stripe.”
A loving husband will observe your body like that after pregnancy and childbirth.
Don’t immediately think that your husband is not the right one. Just remind him that you brought his child into the world and that he should respect that. And we are sure he will love your body even more.