Does your boyfriend want a serious relationship, or is he just interested in sex? That is the question that bothers you.
As soon as you read this, it is clear to us that you care about a serious relationship, or at least you want to be clear about the dynamics of your relationship so that you know how to position yourself.
Understandably, you don’t want to waste too much time and feelings on someone who only cares about sex. Is your boyfriend that kind of guy?
What are the obvious signs that your boyfriend only cares about sex?
Your boyfriend consistently steers conversations towards sexual topics, tends to sexualize every situation, meets with you only on his terms, engages in shallow discussions, avoids genuine attempts to understand you better, and becomes upset when you express boundaries.
We must immediately emphasize that nothing is wrong if someone just wants sex. Many people sometimes find themselves in that phase where they are not looking for anything serious but just for casual sex. That’s completely ok.
However, misunderstandings can occur when one partner wants a committed relationship, and the other only wants sex.
In this article, we will explain in more detail the signs that your boyfriend may only want you for your body and what you should do.
6 Clear Signs That Your Boyfriend Only Wants Sex
There’s a possibility that even though your boyfriend only wants sex, he won’t tell you. He knows that if he tells you that openly, there is a huge chance that you won’t even be together anymore, and he can then say goodbye to sex with you again.
Is he skillfully hiding his intention, or are the signs obvious, but you don’t want to see them?
Let’s see what are the unmistakable signs:
1. Your Boyfriend Only Talks About Sex
You noticed this when you first met and before you were together, but you didn’t pay enough attention to it. You even laughed at some of your boyfriend’s sexual jokes.
However, it should have been evident when he asked you, “What is your favorite sex position” on the first date already. This guy is definitely not wasting any time.
Regardless of your efforts to shift the topic, your boyfriend consistently redirects the conversation toward sexual themes.
What about texting? It’s more like sexting to him. He probably asked you to send him nude pics, or he sent you his.
2. He Only Sees You On His Terms
Besides being selfish, this is a clear sign that this guy just wants sex.
If you only see each other when he wants, he will turn the situation in his favor, and his goal is just to get laid.
“Are you down for some Netflix and chill?” is the modern booty call and the most common message you get from him.
Your boyfriend tries to make all your “dates” be at his place because he knows he’ll be able to get down(and dirty) there. Even if you go out to the club sometime, he will make excuses to get you to him as soon as possible.
You must have noticed that he always wants to see you in the evening. No, your boyfriend is not a vampire, but nighttime is usually the time for sex.
If the two of you were to see each other during the day, there would undoubtedly be less sex, more conversation, and getting to know each other.
3. Your Boyfriend Gets Angry When You’re Not in the Mood
The situation is like this: You and your boyfriend spend a pleasant evening together. He then tries to initiate sex, but you tell him you’re not in the mood. Suddenly there is a considerable change in his behavior.
Because you told him no, your boyfriend suddenly becomes unpleasant and grumpy. That’s because you denied him his only real goal that night.
There may be nights when you feel exhausted or not in the mood. If your boyfriend responds with anger because you’re not interested in being intimate, this should raise a huge red flag.
4. He Forces Physical Contact and Limits the Emotional Part
Have you noticed that all his compliments are about your appearance?
Of course, compliments are nice, but he makes you feel objectified because he only comments on your physical attributes.
As for the emotional part, your boyfriend tries in every way to restrict it.
When you bring up a relationship issue, your boyfriend gets awkward or changes the topic.
He often seems distant or disinterested in meaningful conversations and activities that would encourage emotional bonding.
5. He Doesn’t Want to Get to Know You Better
Getting to know each other better also leads to a more significant emotional connection, which your boyfriend wants to avoid.
Sometimes you wonder if you even know him well. When he’s not talking about sex, he tells some random shallow stories, and you never get to really know him.
Also, he never asks you anything about yourself besides what you’re wearing right now. He wants to avoid hearing about your goals and hobbies. Surely this guy doesn’t ask you how your day was.
One clear indicator that your boyfriend doesn’t want to get to know you better is that he never mentions you in his social circle because he doesn’t want you to meet his friends and family. Also, he is not interested in meeting your close people.
6. Your Boyfriend Acts Like He’s Not in a Relationship
Even though you think you’re in a relationship, your boyfriend acts like he’s still single.
He is still active on dating apps. On social networks, he openly chats in the comments with other girls. Most of all, he likes to comment with a fire emoji under every photo of a girl in a bikini. Imagine what his inbox looks like.
Not only that, you noticed that he was openly flirting with another girl in front of you. He’s so disinterested that it seems to you that he wouldn’t be jealous if it were the other way around.
What Should You Do When Your Boyfriend Only Cares About Sex?
While this seems like a problem that can occur early in the relationship, it can also happen later.
You want more than just sex. You want a deeper emotional connection, if that’s impossible, at least to where you at with this guy.
Here’s what you need to do:
1. Seek Honesty From Him
Asking for honesty from him is only the first step, but it can also be sobering.
Ask your boyfriend if he just wants casual sex with you or a committed relationship. It’s time to separate these two things.
He might tell you directly that he only wants sex, which is still better than lying to you.
And this question may affect him by making him realize that you are not happy because the dynamics of your relationship are not defined.
2. Don’t Always Agree To His Terms
In a relationship, both partners need to respect each other’s needs.
You obviously like this guy because you agreed to some things despite your concerns.
Stop that! Instead, set boundaries with your boyfriend.
You don’t like this relationship dynamic, so don’t agree with it.
Let him know what you’re comfortable with and what crosses the line.
Yes, it is possible to set boundaries in a relationship without being controlling. Don’t second-guess your decision to set boundaries in a relationship because you won’t come off as controlling or distant, but you’ll make it clear where you draw the line.
You don’t have to drop everything and go to your boyfriend just because you like him. If you are not in the mood for sex, he has to accept your no without making a scene.
3. Try To Change Your Relationship Dynamics
It is worth trying if you think it is possible and worth changing the whole dynamic of the relationship between you and your boyfriend.
The first step towards that is to engage in non-sexual activities. Engaging in hobbies, deep conversations, and shared experiences can help shift the focus from purely physical aspects.
Encouraging shared experiences can help strengthen your emotional bond.
As for those “dates” where you and your boyfriend just “chill at his place,” replace them with actual dates. And, of course, dates should not only be at night, but they must be during the day as well.
Lastly, Don’t Forget to Trust Your Guts
Do you know that feeling that someone doesn’t want to change despite all your efforts? You can lie to yourself, but your inner instinct tells you otherwise.
Have you finally realized that there is no deeper connection and probably never will be? So what should you do?
If you are ok that your relationship with your boyfriend will be only based on sex, go for it. Nothing wrong with that.
However, if you want a more meaningful emotional connection, don’t waste your time on someone who doesn’t want it.
It’s time to move on.