Is it possible to stay friends with an ex? That question raises eyebrows because many people find it impossible to stay friends with someone they’ve slept with.
You also think staying friends with someone we’ve slept with is impossible, but your boyfriend thinks otherwise.
He is still friends with one of his ex-girlfriends and considers it completely normal.
When your boyfriend maintains a friendship with a girl he previously slept with, it’s essential to consider the significance of their relationship and the factors that led them to remain friends. Keep an open mind, but be alert for indications that their bond may extend beyond friendship.
This sounds challenging because you are asked to show understanding and be on guard to see if there is still something between your boyfriend and his ex-girlfriend, now a friend.
In this article, we will delve into why your boyfriend might maintain a friendship with someone he slept with and explore potential solutions to help you navigate this delicate situation.
Why is Your Boyfriend Still Friends With Someone He Slept With?
To you, staying friends with someone you’ve slept with and been in a relationship with is impossible.
However, try to understand the reasons why your boyfriend is still friends with his ex, which are:
1. They Think There Was Nothing Significant Between Them
Your boyfriend thinks there was nothing serious between him and that girl he slept with.
If you have different moral principles, this is entirely unclear and unacceptable to you. You even consider this extremely immoral behavior.
They have always been friends, but there was one drunken night after which they ended up in bed, and then they continued their friendship as if nothing had happened.
It could be that one best female friend of your boyfriend with whom he has been friends all his life. You were jealous of her even before you knew about that one time she and your boyfriend were intimate. Now, you can’t stand her.
2. They Had a Meaningful Relationship
Again, this needs to be clarified for you.
Is it possible to remain friends with someone with whom we had a profound and committed relationship?
According to you, it is impossible because ex-lovers cannot be friends. There are too many lingering emotions, and it is best to move on.
On the other hand, your boyfriend doesn’t see a problem with it. He had a great relationship with that girl, full of love, understanding, and respect. That’s how the breakup was, without drama and harsh words.
That’s why they still occupy an important place in each other’s lives and haven’t stopped hanging out or texting occasionally.
3. They Have the Same Social Circle
Have you watched the TV show “Friends?” You sure are because it’s one of the most popular sitcoms ever. You must have noticed how romance often happens between the main characters, and then they continue their friendship because they are in the same social circle.
Your boyfriend may wish to avoid awkwardness or tension by maintaining a friendship.
If he cuts off contact with the girl he slept with, your boyfriend may lose other friends he cares about.
Completely severing ties with someone may cause awkwardness in shared social circles or events.
Your boyfriend and his ex-girlfriend may work together. To maintain good relations at work, they decided to remain friendly.
How to Deal When Your Boyfriend Is Still Friends With Someone He’s Slept With?
Let’s now discuss the possible solutions and actions you can take regarding your boyfriend’s decision to stay friends with someone he slept with.
Here is what you should do:
1. Manage Your Emotions
It’s normal to feel a range of emotions when faced with such a scenario, but try to manage your feelings in a healthy way.
It is much better to deal with this situation maturely than to have jealous outbursts or even try to make your boyfriend jealous.
Just because you and your boyfriend have different views on staying friends with exes doesn’t mean he’s doing something wrong.
Don’t let your insecurities cloud your judgment.
2. Seek Clarity
Ask your boyfriend to explain their relationship and why they remain friends despite their shared past.
During your conversation, ask your boyfriend to clarify the nature of his current relationship with this person.
Your boyfriend should be honest because that’s the only way he’ll be respectful to you.
3. Set Boundaries
It’s true to respect your boyfriend’s different point of view, but it’s essential to set boundaries.
Show your boyfriend that you don’t want to let his past ruin your relationship.
Discuss what is acceptable, and ensure you and your boyfriend are comfortable with these boundaries.
Don’t feel like you’re an overcontrolling girlfriend. It is possible to set boundaries in a relationship without being controlling.
4. Consider Your Deal Breakers
It may be necessary to reevaluate the relationship and consider whether it’s in your best interest to continue.
The main deal breaker is when your boyfriend doesn’t respect boundaries regarding the person he slept with and their friendship.
It can be unsettling to discover that your boyfriend is spending a significant amount of time with a female friend he has slept with, and it may seem like hanging out with her takes priority over spending time with you.
You may even feel your boyfriend purposely excludes you from his friends to avoid you and her in the same place.
All Things Considered,
Of course, staying on good terms with someone we were intimate with is possible. An example of that is your boyfriend.
You should respect his views and trust your boyfriend, but that does not mean you should put up with something that makes you uneasy.
There is no need to panic as long as your boyfriend and his ex-girlfriend respect boundaries. If you cannot tolerate your boyfriend’s relationship with the person he slept with and he is not making any effort to improve, consider if this relationship is worth staying in.