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Why Does My Girlfriend Try to Make Me Jealous? 5 Reasons

While some say there is no place for jealousy in a healthy relationship, some say there should still be a healthy dose of jealousy.

One thing is sure; jealousy is a complex emotion that can arise from various underlying issues in a relationship.

You’re having bouts of jealousy right now, and it’s all because of your girlfriend, who seems to be doing everything to make you jealous.

Why does your girlfriend make you jealous? Because of her immaturity, insecurity, desire for attention, past negative experiences in relationships, or a need to establish dominance in the relationship.

Husband yells at wife

Whatever it is, the question is how long you can last in such a relationship because being constantly jealous makes you stressed.

You might be questioning whether you’re overreacting or if your feelings of insecurity and jealousy are causing you to perceive an issue that doesn’t actually exist.

This article aims to shed light on your girlfriend’s behavior and assist you in determining if your feelings of jealousy are warranted.

5 Crucial Reasons Why Your Girlfriend Tries to Make You Jealous

You’re not the jealous type. At least you never considered yourself jealous before your current relationship.

Your current girlfriend has completely changed that because she makes you the most jealous guy in the world in a second.

Why is she doing this? Why can’t she just enjoy a relationship with you without making issues? These are the reasons:

1. Your Girlfriend Is Immature

We don’t know how old your girlfriend is, but making someone jealous is immature at any age.

This behavior is typical in the teenage years. However, your girlfriend continued to act like that. What is her immature behavior that makes you jealous?

She can decide to have a girl’s night out right when you have already arranged to see each other.

We’re not saying your girlfriend shouldn’t see her friends because she’s in a relationship with you, but one sure sign of immaturity is putting your friends before your partner.

Have you ever had plans fall through because your girlfriend didn’t keep her end of the agreement? Not respecting someone’s time, especially a significant other, is a major indicator of immaturity.

Also, when you are together, your girlfriend has made you feel embarrassed many times.

While you’re at the club, your girlfriend begins dancing with another guy after only a few drinks, even though you’re standing right there. Later, she claims she doesn’t remember and blames it on the alcohol.

2. Your Girlfriend is Insecure

One of the primary reasons your girlfriend may try to make you jealous is her own insecurity. Such insecurities come from a lack of self-confidence.

She might seek validation and reassurance of your feelings for her, fearing that she is not important enough in your life. 

Is your girlfriend jealous? Jealousy is a toxic trait; jealous people tend to make their partners jealous too. You recognized your girlfriend in this.

Her insecurities may stem from her physical appearance or a belief that she does not deserve your affection. Even though it doesn’t make sense to you, her defense mechanism is to make you jealous.

Your girlfriend may be experiencing anxiety around the possibility of you leaving or cheating on her, causing her to make you jealous to see your reaction.

When she sees you are jealous, she sees it as a sign that you love and won’t leave her.

3. Your Girlfriend Loves Attention

Does your girlfriend love to be the center of attention? If the answer is yes, it can be tricky.

Your girlfriend is too flirtatious and loves attention from men. That way, she feels confident.

This behavior is especially noticeable on social networks, where everything is about attention. That’s why many relationships face various challenges because social networks are exceptionally good at breaking up relationships.

This behavior will also manifest in the relationship if she is like that.

If you don’t pay enough attention to her and you’re not the jealous type, your girlfriend may feel neglected or overlooked, and stirring jealousy seems like a way to reclaim her desired attention.

4. Your Girlfriend Has Past Relationship Baggage

Previous experiences can significantly impact current relationships.

If your girlfriend has been hurt or betrayed, she may use jealousy as a defense mechanism to protect herself from potential heartbreak.

In a previous relationship, your girlfriend behaved differently, and in the end, she ended up hurt. Her actions might be an attempt to test your commitment and loyalty.

But is it fair to you? Do you need to be the guinea pig now because your girlfriend has had bad experiences?

Your girlfriend is letting her experiences from previous relationships ruin her current relationship with you.

5. Power Game

And this may or may not be related to previous experiences because some people are just like that.

People play mind games because they feel powerful and in control in relationships.

Your girlfriend uses jealousy as a tool to gain control over you. She might want to feel more powerful in the relationship by making you jealous or manipulating your actions and emotions.

“If she doesn’t make you jealous, you will make her,” that’s her way of thinking.

Her need for dominance in the relationship irritates you immensely. You can’t relax about her because she’s playing hard to get.

For example, she has a habit of not telling you where she goes out, and sometimes she behaves too mysteriously, but you have to tell her all about your day in detail. Couples should tell each other where they are going, right?

What is the Right Thing to Do When Your Girlfriend Makes You Jealous?

It is more evident to you what the reasons are behind your girlfriend’s need to make you jealous.

Now is the time to take the proper steps and prevent it because you don’t see yourself in the future in that relationship if her behavior continues like this.

Here’s what you should do:

1. Reevaluate Your Relationship and Your Behavior

The most important thing to start with is to start with yourself.

How much do you care about your girlfriend? Do you see yourself in this relationship long-term?

It is crucial to avoid getting stressed over someone you do not care enough about, as it is a waste of energy.

Since you obviously care, then you need to take steps to resolve these issues with your girlfriend.

She must also want to participate because if she does not care about you, she will only use you to make you jealous. Hopefully, that’s not the case, and your girlfriend is making you jealous because she’s confused and not because she doesn’t care about you.

Also, consider whether you might be overdoing it with jealousy

Sometimes the green-eyed monster known as jealousy personified makes us take things more seriously than they are.

2. Don’t Answer Jealousy With Jealousy

Fighting fire with fire is never a good choice, just as responding to jealousy with additional jealousy is never a good option.

For example, if you notice that your girlfriend is flirting with some guy, your response is to start flirting with all the girls in the club.

Or, you noticed that your girlfriend liked a photo of a guy you suspect has something to do with her. Ok, now you’ll like every photo of every girl on your Instagram.

This behavior will only create additional problems in your relationship and potentially ruin it completely.

3. Communicate Openly and Honestly

To address her insecurities, communicate your feelings for her openly and honestly. 

Reassure her that she is important to you, and show your affection through small gestures and consistent emotional support. 

Regularly expressing your love and appreciation can go a long way in making her feel secure in the relationship.

Also, remember to emphasize how you feel when your girlfriend makes you jealous. She needs to understand how her actions affect you and how she hurts you with that behavior.

4. Set Boundaries

If you were wondering if it is possible to set boundaries in a relationship without being controlling, yes, it is possible!

Setting healthy boundaries in a relationship is crucial for building mutual trust and respect. It is not about playing the power game as your girlfriend plays when she makes you jealous.

Each relationship is unique, and every couple has their own approach when it comes to jealousy. However, if your girlfriend flirts with others or purposefully ignores your calls, it’s important to tell her that you won’t accept that behavior.

In Conclusion – Jealousy = Insecurity

It is never the right decision to make someone else jealous to boost one’s self-worth intentionally.

Your girlfriend must understand that this way is only doing your relationship a disservice.

A relationship built on trust, support, and understanding is much healthier. We encourage you to explain this to your girlfriend and leave everything about jealousy behind you.

“Jealousy is a strong emotion that can break any strong relationship.”