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My Boyfriend Always Expects Me to Cook – Is That Acceptable?

Cooking, being a necessary activity, can often lead to arguments in relationships.

We will use you and your boyfriend as an example. You feel like his personal chef because you are the only one preparing the food.

Your boyfriend will never even think of stepping into the kitchen except when he has lunch on the table.

Have you ever wondered why your boyfriend expects you to do all the cooking? Because he believes that cooking is solely a woman’s responsibility, or he is used to others always preparing meals for him. Your boyfriend may lack culinary skills or simply despises cooking.

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What are your thoughts on the situation? It’s understandable if you’re not content, as you may feel overwhelmed with kitchen duties and lack personal time. Moreover, your boyfriend may value you as an equal partner rather than solely as his personal chef.

This article will explore the reasons behind his expectations and offer solutions for this situation.

4 Main Reasons Why Your Boyfriend Always Expects You to Cook

We will assume that you have already started living with your boyfriend.

During your relationship, there were signs that he would behave this way. For instance, when you visited his place, he would ask you to prepare a meal for him. At the time, it seemed cute, but it was actually an introduction to his current behavior.

Because your boyfriend expects you to always prepare the food, you sometimes regret moving in with your boyfriend.

Let’s explore some possible reasons for his expectation:

1. Traditional Gender Roles

You were “lucky” to be in a relationship with a traditionalist guy.

Historically, women were often responsible for domestic duties like cooking; some still stick to these roles without realizing it.

Your boyfriend might expect you to cook because he sees it as your responsibility, even if it isn’t explicitly discussed.

This way of thinking may have been acceptable in the past, but today it is considered outdated.

2. Relying on Others to Cook for Him

Your boyfriend grew up in a family where he never learned to cook and considers that completely normal. This is not even rare, especially since mothers love to spoil their sons regarding food.

Your boyfriend is used to always getting what he asks for on a plate. Even if he wants pancakes in the middle of the night, his mother will do it for him. Just so her child doesn’t get hungry.

The question for her is: Why hasn’t her son learned to prepare his own meals?

Your boyfriend now expects you to replace his mother and be his chef.

Not only that, but he often comments on your cooking, finds faults, and says how it’s not good enough like his mother’s meals.

3. Lack of Cooking Skills

Your boyfriend is entirely clueless when it comes to cooking.

In fact, he is the biggest anti-cooking talent ever. You could see and taste it for yourself once when he was preparing dinner.

Your boyfriend may expect you to cook simply because he thinks he can’t. Preparing food is the most challenging task for him.

Learning to cook may be challenging, but it can be accomplished with practice and time. However, your boyfriend has convinced himself that he will never know how to cook, so he doesn’t even want to try.

Also, he has difficulty taking criticism and avoids things he is not good at, such as cooking.

4. Shifting the Obligation to You

In this case, your boyfriend knows how to cook. We are not saying he is the best chef in the world, but he knows enough to prepare a decent meal.

However, he doesn’t want to because he simply hates cooking. That’s his whole excuse for skipping cooking.

Cooking can indeed be tiring, primarily because it is time-consuming. Preparing a quality meal takes a lot of time, and you must clean and wash it afterward.

Maybe you don’t enjoy cooking either, but you still have to spend hours in the kitchen so that you and your boyfriend have something to eat.

This kind of behavior is selfish as your boyfriend is shifting the responsibility of cooking chores entirely onto you, not valuing your time and leaving you with less time for your own activities.

This behavior can signify that you are in a relationship with a lazy man who does not appreciate you enough and does not contribute equally to your household.

What Should You Do When Your Boyfriend Expects Only You to Cook?

Your boyfriend’s attitude has created an imbalance in your relationship.

You feel undervalued because he expects you to cook all the time so that he can enjoy delicious meals.

Here’s what you need to do to change this dynamic in your relationship:

1. Reevaluate Chores in Your Relationship

Every relationship has its own dynamics and flow.

What is extremely important is that both partners contribute together to their household.

It’s unfair that one partner has more responsibilities and less free time while the other doesn’t care.

We must consider the possibility that your boyfriend works long hours and may not have time to prepare food. If your boyfriend works all day while you stay home, is it fair for him to prepare food when he comes home?

However, even in this case, he must understand your needs. That doesn’t mean you should prepare food for him whenever he wants or whatever he wants. Even though cooking is your responsibility in the relationship, you need a break sometimes.

2. Encourage Him To Improve His Cooking Skills

Cooking is not rocket science.

Your boyfriend doesn’t need to become Jamie Oliver, but he can at least learn some basic dishes to prepare. Today, at least, it is easy because many tutorials and cooking videos make the learning process easier.

If your boyfriend lacks cooking skills, offer to teach him or explore cooking classes together.

Don’t be too hard on him if he doesn’t cook the steak medium rare perfectly on the first try. It’s important that he shows a desire to learn, and his skills will improve over time.

3. Stop Preparing Food For Him

This may seem drastic, but it may be necessary if you have an irresponsible, selfish, and lazy boyfriend.

The fact that he won’t cook is just the tip of the iceberg of his insufficient contribution to your household.

When your boyfriend doesn’t have lunch ready, he might realize that you’re not his cook and maid and that he needs to change his attitude and grow up.

Finally – To Cook or Not to Cook?

The question was whether it is acceptable that you only cook in a relationship while your boyfriend is in the kitchen only when he needs to eat. This is not acceptable.

Both partners must contribute equally to the relationship.

Establishing a relationship where both partners feel respected, valued, and heard is essential. Responsibilities should be divided in a manner that benefits both partners. And your boyfriend would be more perfect if he knew how to prepare a meal or two, right?