It is entirely healthy to have your own hobbies and interests.
Even in marriage, we should keep the hobbies we enjoy, and also respect the interests of our partners, if we are not going to participate in them ourselves.
What then when the hobby becomes a problem? When does your husband’s hobby start to negatively affect your relationship?
There have always been prejudices about gaming, but they are slowly disappearing.
Video games now are one of the most popular forms of entertainment, hobbies, and even earning opportunities. It’s not just kids playing video games.
It is a vast industry with people of all ages as its target audience.
Like all fun activities, gaming can also be addictive. Many people today decide to spend their time in virtual worlds instead of reality, full of obligations and chores.
If your husband spends more time with video games than with you, it’s time to ask yourself why and how to solve that.
He is childish
First of all, video games are not exclusively children’s entertainment. Do you know that the average gamer is 34 years old?
He has a marriage, a house, and a job. Why do we even consider your husband childish because he plays video games if that’s the case?
Think about what kind of person he is in general. Has he run away from his obligations and indulged in gaming since childhood?
Throughout life, our commitments and our way of life change, and he tries to keep things the same.
His parents may also have an influence on this. Maybe his parents were too busy to deal with him and gave him games instead.
There’s also that sweet taste of nostalgia that he clings to. That is perfectly fine, as long as it doesn’t ruin your relationship.
He is not motivated
Your husband should have time for himself, rest, and relaxation, which is normal. Here we are talking about the case where he is motivated by nothing but playing video games.
It is possible that he is dissatisfied with his job. Maybe he has talents and possibilities to help him achieve a better job and life for you.
He rejects all that just to play video games. A more extreme form of this case is when he even does not want to find a job.
Video games are his comfort zone that he does not want to leave.
Video games are a higher priority to him than you
Your husband comes home from work and immediately starts playing video games. He thinks his contribution to your marriage is that he went to work, and nothing else interests him.
Even if you try to talk to him, he doesn’t listen or pretends to listen. You might get one “How was your day” question, but it’s just so you don’t bother him later while he’s playing.
Clearly, you are familiar with this situation.
Video games make you feel neglected. Your relationship suffers in every possible way because his number one priority is gaming.
He uses games as escapism
Video games are a great escape from reality. Sometimes reality is complex, gloomy, and boring. The world of video games may seem a much more fun and interesting place.
That escape from reality is a double-edged sword.
Your husband may be suffering from trauma or going through a difficult period. Gaming serves him as a stress relief.
Video games can be stress reducers, which has been proven through various studies. It’s only a problem when video games replace reality too much.
No matter how hard reality can sometimes be, we cannot always run away and ignore it.
He is addicted to video games
All these reasons mentioned above can be sublimated in this one.
There are many signs that a person is addicted to video games, such as:
– constantly thinking about video games
– neglecting all social ties
– organizing all the time in advance to play video games as much as possible
– neglecting personal hygiene
– physical and mental impossibility to reduce the number of gaming hours
– laying about how much he plays
All this can lead to other mental disorders, so treatment is mandatory when the addiction reaches this far.
Did you find your husband in the reasons above? Keep reading:
Does he really play video games that much?
You have to start with yourself first. Does your husband play video games that much, or does it bother you?
As we have already said, he has the right to hobbies. Does it matter if he’s watching Netflix or playing video games? Maybe you don’t like gaming and consider it a waste of time. That’s why it bothers you that he’s gaming in his spare time.
How much gaming is too much?
It is difficult to answer that question precisely.
If your husband plays his favorite game for an hour or two in his spare time after finishing all other tasks, that is not a problem.
As soon as gaming starts causing problems for your husband and you, it is a sign that it is too much.
How to approach the problem?
First of all, don’t aggressively attack him and ask him to suddenly stop playing video games entirely.
Show him that you respect his hobby, especially if he has a deeper reason. But be sure to explain to him what it does to your relationship, in every sense, financial, social, and intimate.
If you think it is possible to control his hobby, suggest some kind of compromise. Organize the time so that he will have time to devote himself to you.
If he finishes all his responsibilities and devotes himself to his family, let him play video games in his spare time. Of course, until it affects his life and yours.
If the hobby has reached the point where it has become an obsession, it will be much more difficult. The matter is much more serious if your husband neglects everything because of video games.
Your husband doesn’t sleep all night, spends unreasonable amounts of money on video games, only thinks about gaming, doesn’t want to go out or find a job, and has entirely neglected you and all social relationships.
These are already clear signs that it is a video game addiction.
In this case, it is necessary to think about couple therapy or therapy just for him.
Final thoughts,
We are all entitled to our hobbies and sources of entertainment. But they should not endanger our lives.
As for your husband, take into account all the facts. Try to understand him first, but don’t let your relationship suffer because of his video games.
In any case, it’s up to you to decide whether his favorite game will be Game Over or Continue.