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My Girlfriend is Draining Me Financially – How to Deal With Her?

Finances can be a burning topic in any relationship.

Different attitudes towards finances and spending habits can lead to arguments.

However, the problem in your relationship is that your girlfriend is entirely dependent on you financially, and because of her attitude, you feel completely financially drained.

Why is your girlfriend draining you financially? This may be due to patterns that have been established in your relationship, as well as your girlfriend’s attitudes, values, laziness, and expected lifestyle.

couple arguing

You don’t want to come across as a cheapskate because you’re not. But your girlfriend’s behavior like this makes you wonder.

The question that concerns you is whether your girlfriend is only with you for your money, and if so, can it be changed?

The answer to both questions will become more apparent to you by the end of this article, so be sure to read to the end.

4 Main Reasons Why Your Girlfriend Is Draining You Financially

It’s safe to say that your wallet is afraid of your girlfriend.

Notice any irregularities in your girlfriend’s financial habits? It’s essential to recognize the financial red flags that hint she might be draining you financially.

Your girlfriend is causing a significant financial strain on you. Here are some common reasons why this might be happening:

1. You Used Her To Spend Your Money

We will avoid asking who should pay for the drinks on the first date because that’s another topic.

You wanted to be a gentleman and paid the bills when you and your girlfriend were dating early on. That’s not bad, but things have gotten out of hand.

Very quickly, you started showering your girlfriend with expensive gifts for every possible holiday or anniversary, even for no reason.

She may have been uncomfortable initially but quickly got used to such treatment. Even now, she expects you to treat her that way financially.

However, your wallet can no longer handle this type of spending, and it finally dawns on you what you have done.

You’ve gotten your girlfriend used to spending too much money on her, and you realize this was a mistake.

Why did you do this? Your insecurities are likely behind this behavior of yours.

So, you’ve decided to spend too much on your girlfriend because you think she’s way out of your league, so you think you’ll keep her with money.

This is a terrible approach to a relationship, and you finally realize it.

2. You and Your Girlfriend Have Mismatched Financial Values

Some people are naturally more conservative with money, while others may be more impulsive and spendthrift.

For example, you demonstrate admirable responsibility when it comes to managing your finances.

You prioritize fulfilling your financial obligations, maintaining a well-defined budget, avoiding incurring debt, and avoiding impulsive purchases. Your financial discipline is admirable.

However, your girlfriend is the complete opposite of that. She is always in debt, but she acts completely relaxed about it.

Impulsive shopping is her middle name because if she goes to the store to buy one thing, she’ll buy ten more. She’ll find some excuse for why she did it, probably because she couldn’t resist, or those products were on sale that couldn’t be missed.

Her impulsive and aimless spending annoys you because such behavior is irresponsibility towards money, especially if it is not her money.

3. Your Girlfriend Has an Expensive Lifestyle

Sometimes, a partner’s expectations about the kind of lifestyle they want can lead to financial strain.

If your girlfriend desires a more lavish lifestyle than you can afford, it may result in overspending.

Does that include spending too much on clothes, designer bags, or fancy trips? As soon as a new collection of her favorite brand comes out, she has to have it immediately.

If this is the case, it is clear that your girlfriend is too focused on material things, while you do not care much about material things.

You’ve obviously realized your girlfriend lives her expensive “Sex and the City” lifestyle and doesn’t want to stop. The only problem is that she lives it entirely at your expense, and such a lifestyle can very quickly leave you financially drained and broke.

4. Your Girlfriend is Lazy and Unmotivated

If your girlfriend struggles to find stable employment or is underemployed, it can put significant financial stress on your relationship.

Ok, it can happen to everyone that they have a bad period at work or career or even struggle to find a job, but what if there is something more than this here?

You noticed that your girlfriend is not looking for a job and doesn’t even want to work.

Usually, when your girlfriend gets a job, she complains about it constantly, leaving it because the job was terrible. Sure, it’s possible to stumble upon a lousy job, but how come every job is always bad for your girlfriend? That pattern happens too frequently.

This behavior may come from personal dissatisfaction and a lack of motivation to change the things that bother her.

Your girlfriend’s upbringing could influence her behavior, as her parents spoiled her. They may have believed they were helpful by providing everything she wanted, but failing to teach her basic work habits could now be a challenge in adulthood.

What are the Signs That Your Girlfriend is Draining You Financially?

These reasons above still need to be clarified to you, or you find it challenging to face the truth.

Therefore, these are additional signs that your girlfriend is only with you for money:

  • Materialistic Attitude: If your girlfriend consistently prioritizes material possessions, expensive gifts, or lavish experiences over the emotional connection and shared experiences, it may indicate a materialistic mindset.
  • You Pay All Her Bills – We don’t just mean those bills when you go out together. You pay for everything from rent to food and clothing. This situation is even more complicated if you haven’t started living together.
  • Lack of Interest in Your Non-Financial Life: If she seems disinterested in your interests, hobbies, and aspirations outside of financial matters, it may suggest that she values ​​your money more than your personality.
  • Inconsistent Behavior: If her behavior changes significantly based on your financial situation, such as becoming more affectionate when you provide financial support and distant when you don’t, it may be a sign of opportunism.
  • Using Emotional Manipulation: If she uses emotional manipulation, such as guilt-tripping you into providing financial assistance, it may suggest that she’s exploiting your emotions to gain financial support.
  • Comparing Your Financial Status to Others: Constantly comparing your financial status to that of others or expressing dissatisfaction with your lifestyle, even when it’s comfortable, can indicate a focus on material wealth.

How to Deal With a Girlfriend Who Drains You Financially?

Regardless of the outcome of your relationship, it’s time for your girlfriend to stop this behavior.

Here’s what you need to do:

1. Tell Her How You Feel

Sit down with your girlfriend and express your concerns without blaming or accusing her.

Explain to her that you feel incredibly uncomfortable about her spending habits, and ask her how she feels about the whole situation.

Your girlfriend should recognize that her financial habits are totally destroying your wallet, leaving you worried and hurt.

2. Create a Joint Financial Plan

This is especially necessary if you and your girlfriend live together.

Creating a joint budget outlining your income, expenses, and savings goals can help you gain better control over your finances.

Ensure that the budget reflects both your financial priorities and obligations.

3. Set Clear Financial Boundaries

To avoid misunderstandings, set clear financial boundaries.

Determine spending limits and assign responsibility for expenses.

You’re not a bad guy for this; you just don’t want to be a piggy bank for your girlfriend.

4. Encourage Financial Responsibility

If your girlfriend has financial difficulties due to debt or unemployment, support her in improving her financial situation.

This could involve helping her find a job that she will love, encouraging her to improve her skills, and supporting her when things aren’t going well.

We guarantee that she will feel much better when she feels financially independent.

5. Understand When You Need to Help Your Girlfriend Financially

It does not necessarily mean your girlfriend exploits you financially if she asks you for money.

What if she is going through a difficult situation and needs money desperately.

If your girlfriend consistently shows that she cares about you and not about your money, of course, you should help her.

Most Importantly – Reevaluate Your Relationship

Financial strain in a relationship is a common challenge, and addressing it proactively and constructively is essential.

What if, despite all your efforts to make your girlfriend understand how her financial habits are destroying you financially, she is still doing the same.

Ask yourself if you want to stay in a relationship with her.

Remember one important thing: “If you need money to get her, she isn’t the one.”