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My Boyfriend Forgets About Me When He Drinks – What Should I Do?

Consuming alcohol can create several issues within a romantic relationship.

One common issue that some couples face is when one partner seems to forget about the other when under the influence of alcohol.

That is happening to you because your boyfriend completely forgets about you when he drinks.

Why does your boyfriend forget about you when he drinks? Besides the well-known fact that alcohol impairs memory and alters the state of mind, your boyfriend’s behavior may reveal his priorities and desire for emotional disconnection.

Husband who have problem with alcohol

These situations can leave you feeling hurt, frustrated, and isolated.

You may wonder what actions you can take to assist your partner and preserve your relationship. Ultimately, you may need to ask yourself if this is the relationship you want to be in.

Let’s explain your boyfriend’s behavior in more detail and try to find a solution to this situation.

How Does Your Boyfriend Forget About You When He Drinks?

Your boyfriend is an entirely different person without alcohol, and that’s why he annoys you so much when he drinks.

The reason why your boyfriend forgets about you as soon he starts drinking:

1. Alcohol and Memory Loss

One of the most well-known effects of alcohol is memory loss. When a person drinks too much, they may experience blackouts or gaps in their memory.

Your boyfriend might genuinely forget parts of the evening, including moments spent with you, due to the effects of alcohol on his memory consolidation.

The worst thing is that the next day, your boyfriend doesn’t even remember what you talked about or if you had an argument, and he convinces you that nothing happened.

He doesn’t remember all the stupid things he did the night before, but you remember all the embarrassing moments well.

2. Alcohol and Personality Shifts

We have a classic “Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde” case here.

Alcohol can also have a significant impact on a person’s personality.

Your boyfriend is usually calm and well-behaved but becomes a reckless party maniac when he drinks or starts arguments with everyone.

This altered state of mind impairs his judgment, reduces inhibitions, and can lead to memory lapses.

Your boyfriend forgets about everything when he drinks, including you.

There is a saying that “no great story ever started with a glass of milk,” but this behavior can get your boyfriend into all sorts of trouble.

3. Alcohol and Changing Priorities

Does your boyfriend go out every weekend? Do you sometimes think he cares more about his friends than you?

Maybe your boyfriend doesn’t even like alcohol, but he sees it as socializing fuel and doesn’t want to stand out from his friends who all drink.

When he is with them, he completely forgets about you. You even noticed that he deliberately excludes you from his friends.

Does this mean your boyfriend has one face with you and a completely different face with his friends? Or does he think you’re a party breaker and ruining their good time?

It’s a red flag if someone prioritizes their friends over their partner and doesn’t include their partner in their friend group.

If your boyfriend behaves like this, it’s no wonder that you may wonder if he wants you because of your body and if he doesn’t want a serious, committed relationship with you.

4. Alcohol and Emotional Disconnect

One of the characteristics of alcohol is that it strongly affects the emotions of individuals.

Your boyfriend might want to temporarily disconnect from his emotions, making expressing affection or remembering your interactions challenging.

Maybe there is some hesitation in him regarding his relationship with you. When he consumes alcohol, he wants to extinguish all those emotions and temporarily forget about you.

It doesn’t necessarily have to be only questions related to you that are bothering your boyfriend; maybe he is also concerned by some other troubles, and he chooses to distance himself emotionally with the help of alcohol, at least for a moment.

What Should You Do When Your Boyfriend Forgets About You When He Drinks?

When a partner drinks excessively, it can lead to emotional distance and a lack of communication.

The consumption of alcohol can lead to anger and abuse, causing damage to the relationship. Furthermore, the partner who chooses not to drink may feel neglected and unimportant, resulting in resentment and conflicts.

Here’s how to deal with it:

1. Choose the Right Time to Discuss

When dealing with a boyfriend who forgets about you when he drinks, it is important to address the issue in a sober conversation.

Avoid discussing the issue while your boyfriend is drunk. It will only create an even bigger problem.

Wait until he is sober and calm to address your concerns. This ensures a more productive and understanding conversation.

2. Express Your Feelings and Seek Understanding

How do you feel when your boyfriend totally forgets about you when he drinks? You feel neglected, unimportant, and even jealous.

Ask your boyfriend if he is even aware of the harm he is causing to your relationship.

Additionally, request that he put himself in your shoes and imagine how he would feel if the roles were reversed.

3. Set Boundaries

If his drinking habits are causing strain on the relationship, establish boundaries that both of you can agree on.

These boundaries may include limits on your boyfriend’s alcohol consumption and how to treat you and others when your boyfriend drinks.

And there’s no need to feel like a parent to your boyfriend because you’re forbidding him something. You’re respecting yourself and drawing a line of acceptable behavior on his part that he shouldn’t cross.

4. Address the Underlying Issue

If his drinking habits are frequent and excessive, it might indicate an underlying issue.

Encourage open discussions about his alcohol use and offer support for cutting back or seeking help.

Change requires time. So, stay patient and supportive if your boyfriend acknowledges the issue and is willing to work on it.

Most Importantly – Remember to Respect Yourself

If you care about your relationship and want to help your boyfriend, then it’s important to take action.

However, it is essential to remember that you deserve respect, and setting and enforcing boundaries is necessary.

If your boyfriend consistently ignores your boundaries and forgets about you when he drinks, it may be time to consider ending the relationship.

You don’t want to be his second choice forever.