If your husband won’t shut up even when you are obviously not in the mood to listen to them, it may mean many things, but one is sure – it is your time to talk too.
While a relationship with an expressive spouse can be intriguing and enjoyable, a chatty partner can be upsetting, tiring, and intrusive.
Their constant chattering may drive you nuts and prevent you from focusing or connecting with your spouse.
You can begin to dread coming home because you worry that you will grow tired of listening to their amusing talk when you hope to unwind at home.
Quality communication is the essence of any good relationship and is crucial for a harmonious marriage.
We learn different communication styles in the family we grow up in, but that does not mean we can not learn to communicate differently if that’s what it takes to improve our relationships.
It takes two for happiness and a communication problem, so the first step is to understand the situation well.
4 Reasons Why Your Husband Talks Too Much
At the beginning of a relationship, we often overlook some things and qualities of our partner that bother us later. Maybe you even liked it when your partner talked so much at first, but now it’s tiring.
Think about what else has changed in your relationship and whether it really bothers you that he talks too much or what he actually says. Let’s see some common reasons why your husband talks too much.
1. Your Husband is Narcissistic
A narcissist is someone who values oneself highly, craves attention, believes others are inferior to them, and lacks compassion for others.
Your husband could be a narcissist if they mostly talk about themselves. Some individuals have a tendency to consider themselves to be the center of the universe.
They have the propensity to dominate all conversations by talking about themselves.
Suppose your husband constantly needs to elaborate on all the great things he has done and thought about and, at the same time, never listens to you or pays attention to anything you say. In that case, he probably is a bit of a narcissist.
What you need to know is that people with narcissistic traits are like children, too sensitive to their feelings and completely insensitive to the feelings of others.
You need to be very clear and articulate about your needs if you are in a relationship with a narcissist. Setting boundaries is also an essential survival skill when you have to deal with narcissists on a daily level.
The fact that narcissists rarely admit they have a problem is what makes your situation particularly complicated. Instead of focusing on him and his needs, focus on yourself and let him adjust on the way. If he cares enough, he will learn to adapt to your needs.
2. Your Husband is Articulate
Some people are gifted communicators. They are able to craft lovely phrases with the appropriate word choices.
Due to their need to demonstrate their abilities, these individuals may appear to talk more than ordinary people.
Your husband may enjoy expressing himself through words, which is not bad, but if you are not that much of a verbal person, you may find it intrusive and exhausting.
Opposites attract, and it is not rare for an overly talkative partner to attract a quiet person.
Maybe you can learn how to communicate more effectively from him, but to do that, you first need to establish some rules.
You can, for example, arrange to have a special code which will mean you need peace and quiet so that he leaves you alone and saves his talk for later.
3. Your Husband Is Insecure
When people feel insecure or have unspoken anxieties, they may try to hide such sentiments by chatting with others to pass the time.
Your husband may use light topics to cover his feelings of insecurity. He may not be able to communicate what really bothers him effectively, which is why he talks about anything.
If he hasn’t learned how to talk about his feelings in his family, he may be able to say many different things but nothing about how he feels.
Some people chatter to get attention because they want it. He may require more of your attention or more social interactions with his friends and family in settings that make him feel connected, involved, and wanted.
By refusing to listen to him, he only feels abandoned and even more incapable of saying what really bothers him.
So instead of pushing him further away, you can say something like, “honey, I hear you. What is it that you really want to tell me?”.
4. Your Husband Is Anxious
Some people have a tendency to talk nonstop about their difficulties as a way to release their tension. However, they only act in this manner under stress.
Suppose you generally communicate well, and he tends to be overly talkative only occasionally. In that case, it is probably his way of handling stressful events. You may ask him to talk about his stress more openly.
He will be grateful you recognized his need even before he was aware of it.
We all react differently to stress. In marriage, you must know each other well and recognize when you are under stress to offer each other support.
9 Tips on How to Deal with a Husband Who Won’t Shut Up
Ironically, the best way to deal with an overly talkative husband is to talk with him. But not all talks are the same. Prepare yourself well for the conversation by following these tips:
1. Define the Problem
Determine the cause of your partner’s excessive talking first. Check to determine if your husband does it exclusively with you or with everyone else.
Your partner may require counseling if they converse excessively with everyone. Additionally, you may always tell someone they are talking too much when you are busy by stating that you don’t have time to listen. You are not being impolite by being frank about your needs and what bothers you.
2. Nurture Closeness and Intimacy in Your Marriage
Be in touch with your partner. Tell him lovingly that occasionally you need to retreat to a peaceful area. And continue leading a happy life together. Any partnership has to have good communication.
The key to a long-lasting relationship is calmly discussing serious matters with your spouse.
You are nurturing closeness by letting him know how you feel and what you need, even when it seems like you are hurting him. How are you supposed to support each other if you donćt understand your needs?
3. Do Something Fun Together
Bring your husband into activities. If he is talking to break up silence, he may be bored or uneasy due to a lack of mental stimulation.
Play games that require a lot of strategies or thought to offer them the chance to relieve some energy they would otherwise spend on talking. But make sure it’s a game he’d like to play.
4. Yelling Doesn’t Solve Anything
If you yell at your husband when he or she begins to talk, it will just cause additional issues. You have the option of remaining silent. Due to the fact that you are not replying, the chatty partner will be forced to check himself.
5. Practice Silence
Encourage your husband to converse more frequently and become more accustomed to quiet. Although talkers frequently experience pauses in a silent discussion, they will need to learn to befriend the silence to provide them with more opportunities to speak.
6. Keep It Light
Be distractingly lighthearted. Experts advise against having meaningful conversations with intrusive talkers. It is a very delicate matter to help your own husband.
Try gently involving the husband in activities to pass the time. If the problem is persistent, let your spouse know the harm their chattiness is doing.
7. Interrupt Him a Lot
Even if a person has a reputation for talking a lot, that doesn’t imply they are unaware of how intrusive they are. This is an example of the adage, “Give them an inch, and they’ll take a mile.”
It only becomes a habit if you allow them to develop a rapport with you when they are talking to you. Do not be reluctant to interject.
8. Be Compassionate
Show compassion. At times, all we want is to be understood. Most people tend not to blab about their lives to anybody who would listen.
They frequently select those they like and trust. The five “love languages” include “words of affirmation” as one of them. They could be searching for empathy if this is their main love language. This may be especially crucial following a traumatic or stressful event.
9. Be Honest
Be truthful. Don’t use deception to attempt to influence him. He becomes a project as a result, not a person.
Additionally, it hinders genuine closeness by using deception in place of genuineness. There is nothing improper in wanting him to handle a situation differently. Everybody has flaws.