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Why Does My Girlfriend Blame Me For Her Actions? 7 Reasons

No one likes to be wrongly accused of things they didn’t do.

Therefore, being in a relationship with someone who consistently blames you for their own actions can be emotionally and mentally draining.

That’s exactly what your girlfriend does. She blames you for everything in your relationship, even for something directly her fault.

Why does your girlfriend blame you for her actions? Because she initially imposed such an attitude in your relationship due to previous experiences, emotion regulation problems, communication issues, and overly defensive behavior.

angry young couple

Do you feel comfortable in a relationship where you are constantly blamed for the other person’s actions? Of course not.

This behavior can be perplexing and frustrating, but it’s crucial to remember that there are often underlying reasons.

7 Crucial Reasons Why Your Girlfriend Blames You For Her Actions

Understanding the psychological aspects of blaming can help in addressing this behavior effectively.

Have you heard of the term “hijackal” in a relationship?

The term “hijackal” describes a specific type of person in a relationship who exhibits a pattern of behavior characterized by manipulation, control, and emotional abuse. Do you recognize your girlfriend in this?

There are certainly deeper reasons behind such behavior of your girlfriend, which could be:

1. Dominance in a Relationship

From the beginning of your relationship, your girlfriend has established a dynamic where she blames you.

She has a habit of playing a power game in the relationship by constantly shifting blame and placing fault on you.

It didn’t matter to you at first because you were happy to be in a relationship with her, and you didn’t think about the future consequences.

Now that the initial honeymoon in your relationship is over, you realize your mistake that potentially can ruin your relationship.

2. Past Experiences

We all learn from past relationships and draw conclusions for future relationships. It’s normal, but it can’t be good when we let those experiences from previous relationships ruin our current relationship.

That’s exactly what your girlfriend does. She let her ex-boyfriend blame her in a previous relationship, and it didn’t end well. Like some vigilante, she decided to do the same in future relationships.

Does this mean your girlfriend is still hurt by her ex-boyfriend? It doesn’t necessarily mean that she still has feelings for him, but there is definitely some bitterness left in her.

3. Emotion Regulation Problems

Some individuals struggle with regulating their emotions, resulting in impulsive actions and, subsequently, blaming others for their actions.

Your girlfriend may not have the emotional tools to cope with difficult situations or emotions, leading her to deflect responsibility.

Such emotional problems are usually accompanied by tantrums, jealous outbursts, and deliberate blame-shifting.

External stressors such as work pressures, family issues, or financial difficulties can also contribute to blaming behavior in a relationship.

Your girlfriend may be overwhelmed by external factors and use blaming to cope with her stress.

4. Communication Issues

Effective communication is essential for healthy relationships. Misunderstandings and blame can result from poor communication.

This way of communicating can come directly from patterns learned from the family. Have you noticed that your girlfriend gets annoyed when her family is mentioned?

Your girlfriend may lack effective communication skills, leading her to blame you when she feels unheard or misunderstood.

It doesn’t have to be a classic blame game; it can be another mind game from a vast arsenal. This includes gaslighting, ghosting, victim-playing, or stonewalling.

5. Big Ego

Relationships require understanding, and there’s little room for big egos.

Unfortunately, your girlfriend has a huge ego, and it affects your relationship.

She has an extremely high opinion of herself, whether it’s her physical appearance, career, education, or whatever. She puts herself above you and expects you to be her doormat. Then she blames you for everything.

Perhaps she will inform you that if you are not willing to tolerate her, there are plenty of other men who will.

6. General Irresponsibility

Your girlfriend adopted this pattern of shifting responsibility long ago.

She is used to blaming others for her failures instead of taking responsibility for her own life. As her partner, you are the ideal target on which she can project her dissatisfaction.

It’s easier for her to be lazy, unmotivated, and in a constant victim role instead of standing behind her actions.

7. Overly Defensive Behavior

Sometimes, you feel like your girlfriend raises a shield in front of her when she feels attacked or criticized, even though you’re just pointing out something she’s wrong about.

Your girlfriend perceives any criticism as attacking her and reacts defensively.

According to her, offense is the best defense, so she skillfully shifts the blame to you.

Pay attention; overly defensive people are usually hiding something.

What Should You Do When Your Girlfriend Blames You For Her Actions?

Blame can often emerge in relationships when a person avoids taking responsibility for their actions or tries to shift the fault onto their partner.

This behavior can be harmful and may lead to increased conflict, poor communication, and a lack of empathy between partners.

Here are some ways to handle the situation:

1. Stay Calm

It is straightforward for you to fall into that vicious circle and start blaming her, too.

Stay calm to avoid arguments and set a positive example for your girlfriend. This will help improve your relationship.

2. Show Understanding and Support

This particularly pertains to scenarios in which your girlfriend is experiencing stressful situations.

You are not her punching bag, but try to help her through a difficult period.

Offer your support during challenging times. Listen to her concerns and be empathetic.

3. Work on Improving Conversation in Your Relationship

It is common knowledge how important communication is in relationships.

Improve communication with active listening, empathy, and open conversations. Couples therapy can also help.

4. Set Boundaries

Constantly blaming a person for their partner’s actions can cause emotional harm. The person being accused may feel shame and pain and internalize the blame.

That’s why it’s essential to set boundaries regarding this situation.

Let your girlfriend know you appreciate her feelings but will not tolerate being unfairly blamed.

Finally – Reevaluate Your Relationship

It makes sense that you don’t want to be in a relationship where your girlfriend constantly blames you for her actions.

Apply these tips, and hopefully, the situation will change. Be patient, but stick to established boundaries.

If, despite all your efforts, your girlfriend continues to behave the same or even worse, ask yourself what you are still looking for in such a relationship.