It is frequently claimed that a rushed marriage is regretted later. Scientific research has discovered that we make decisions about a partner far more quickly than you might believe.
According to a scientific study, it typically took engaged couples 172 days, or just under six months, to decide they wanted to get married.
So, what does dating for ten years even mean in light of this information?
Stay tuned as we explore the most common reasons why couples may postpone or avoid marriage for so long:
Some Couples Simply don’t Need Marriage to Live a Married Life
Even after a very long dating period, a younger couple could decide it is unnecessary to think about getting married.
Aside from that, an increasing number of couples simply don’t believe that getting married actually makes a difference; therefore, they continue to be in loving relationships, cohabitate, and have children without getting married.
The idea of a family and marriage has evolved dramatically throughout time, and people are no longer as likely to look to marriage for security in their lives.
Before beginning to think about marriage, couples frequently decide to take care of many other elements of their lives. And there’s nothing wrong with delaying or forgoing marriage altogether as long as both parties move in the same direction.
The Fear That Marriage Will Sour Their Relationship
Some people grew up in a family where their parent’s marriage was toxic, so they developed a belief that marriage is bad by default.
If all they ever knew as children were conflicts between their parents, regardless of how much they may like the idea of marriage on a conscious level, these people would unconscionably look for excuses to put off getting married as long as they can.
The justifications for postponing typically sound quite good, but the other partner gets impatient as time goes on.
Therefore, it is a good idea to research the kind of marriage your partner’s parents have or had if you are planning to propose a marriage or are hoping to get proposed.
Though it was common for men to put off or avoid marriage, more and more women are now deferring this decision.
The common reason for this is that, although their parents’ marriage might seem balanced, they perceive the woman’s role in it as degrading, unfair, or simply boring.
These women detest the idea of becoming housewives and need a lot of reassurance from their partners that the scenario for their marriage will not play out like that.
On the other hand, men may typically be afraid that once they tie the knot, all the fun will be gone. Both parties need reassurance that marriage is what they make of it.
Money May Be a Serious Issue
Financial instability might be a key factor in delaying a marriage.
Financially troubled couples are less likely to get married. They might be concerned about how they would provide for their partner and themselves after they get married. Or perhaps they merely lack the resources to organize a wedding.
Financial uncertainty can also have a negative impact on already-formed marriages.
One of the major causes of friction in partnerships is disagreements over money. Money arguments may easily escalate into furious and harmful arguments when couples struggle to make ends meet.
Different Life Priorities
For different people, different life priorities can imply different things. For some, this could entail having a lucrative career and delaying marriage until their late 30s.
Others can interpret it as tying the knot and establishing a family as soon as they graduate from college.
There is no right or wrong response; each person has the right to decide what matters to them the most in life.
There are advantages and disadvantages to both options for sure. Waiting to get married until one is older frequently results in greater stability and a greater likelihood of financial security.
They also tend to be emotionally more mature than people who marry young. In contrast, young couples frequently have more time to organize their married life and plan their offspring more easily.
Sometimes It Is Only Inertia
Some people get pretty comfortable in a long relationship and believe that the mere fact that they are dating for so long inevitably leads to marriage.
The other party may not see things the same way, and yet they stay together as it feels good, and nothing better comes along the way. Inertia is one of the common reasons for not tying the knot.
But, although they may seem stable on the surface, relationships based on inertia are very fragile, especially when the couple starts getting questions about their marriage plans from their friends and families.
Making Sure You Are on the Same Page
It’s time to play cards and have an honest discussion if you and your partner have been together for ten years and you are unsure how they feel about getting married.
For any form of union to have a chance, honesty is necessary. If discussing your expectations with your spouse is difficult for you, how can you possibly expect your marriage to be successful and happy?
Let’s Wrap It All Up
In the past, marriage was considered a normal, inevitable part of life, and those who avoided it were considered outcasts.
After a few years of dating, couples would be hitched and live happily ever after. But times have greatly changed. It seems like more and more marriages are dissolving these days.
Many individuals question whether having relationships that last longer actually results in happier unions.
Waiting longer to be married has both benefits and drawbacks. On the one hand, your chances of meeting a compatible person are higher. On the flip side, there’s a chance that you’ll become too at ease and put off getting married.
Contrary to popular belief, staying together for extended stretches of time is not always a prerequisite for a happy marriage.
Recent research has revealed that people who date for ten years or longer before getting married are more likely to divorce than others who don’t wait as long.